Lies that mislead us and rob joy from our future
Chapter 4: Rejecting the Devil's Lies
A lot of the internal conflict we struggle with after experiencing infidelity stems from the devil exploiting our vulnerable circumstances and weaknesses. He does this by whispering lies that stir confusion, conflict, and division, often taking on many different forms.
That is why, for December, I have focused on developing chapter four on the five most damaging lies that impacted my marriage—and the marriages of others. This subject was an opportunity to discover what forms of demonic strategies played out in our lives and how grossly common these hindrances occur in unequally yoked marriages today.
Below is another non-exhaustive list for you, including big hitters of the devil’s lies after an affair:
Lie #1: Self-love will protect you from your marriage - The ‘love yourself’ mentality is merely a shorthand for assuaging a troubled conscience. In this case, the expression can be used as a way of denying the hurt inflicted on us by avoiding reconciling with our husbands.
Lie #2: He’s Still Lying - No matter how much time has passed after the affair, the devil will attempt to trick you into believing your spouse is dishonest since he’s done it before.
Lie #3: Spirit of Rejection - This is a demonic spirit that brings oppression to oneself, causing us to feel worthless and unwanted. It corrupts our lives, keeps us bound, and limits our God-given capacity.
Lie #4: We Can Give Up When No Change is in Sight - It seems easy to give up when all we see is the sin birthed from an unclean heart, no hope seems to exist, and we’re too weak to go on. But, we don’t have to curl up in a ball and “cut our losses” over this trial, and we certainly don’t have to be swayed by other people’s opinions on how it would be better for us (‘the victim’) to protect ourselves from any more hurt by leaving.
Lie #5: We Cannot Forgive Them - The devil wants us to believe that what they have done to us is unforgivable and beyond repair. The adversary lurks around our homes, projecting a giant shadow of despair on the walls, leaving no room for forgiveness in sight when, in reality, he is so small compared to the God we serve. Forgiveness is attainable no matter how doomful the lies he tells us are.
The Bible says in John 8:44 that “when he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.” Deception is all the devil has in his arsenal against Christians—that’s why he uses it strategically. He uses lies to discourage us, causing fear and anxiety. One of his strongest tactics is to present us with a worst-case scenario in our future to arouse panic and division.
He targets our vulnerability by twisting a truth in our lives so we can perceive our husbands and the future of our marriages as lost causes. In this case, the devil reminds us of the many truths from our spouses infidelity because it serves his evil purposes.
We know that the devil is here to steal, kill, and destroy, so we should not allow his twisted truths to influence ungodly behaviours or negative decisions. He holds the power of death and seeks to destroy your marriage, but God proves Himself mightier.
The good news is that there is hope in Jesus to win this battle. Thankfully, Jesus is enough for us, through us, giving us the discernment and dominion to come against these demonic attacks.
My hope is that these chapter summaries are reaching those in need of encouragement and godly direction. Please know I am not testing to take on the role of a woman pastor. I am simply a born-again Christian, wife, and mother who has experienced what you’re going through, and by God’s grace, I am recovering from the affair. Fortunately, I have found hope in Jesus Christ and am now reaping the fruits of choosing to stay saved and married—which I hope to share with others who choose to remain married and seek healing.
On that note, I do not condone any woman staying in marriage while being abused and understand that, at times, there are no other options but to separate when it puts anyone’s life at risk or if your spouse is unwilling to make changes.
I strongly believe in creating healthy boundaries and protecting yourself and your children. I do not know it all or want to act like I have it all together. However, I do feel God has placed it on my heart to share pieces of my testimony so that others who are encountering this hurt in their marriage can find hope, be set free from bitterness, and stay committed to the Lord while remaining committed to their unsaved husband in their unequally yoked marriage.
Love always,
Kallista